Kept Again

“So, where do you want to go?" Dana asked. "Well, I need more book material," I replied. "Yeah, that's what I was afraid of," she said.

We were having this conversation because, after more than a decade of behaving normal-ish in Texas, Dana had decided our lives wouldn't be complete unless she rejoined our nation's diplomatic service. "Turkmenistan," I said. "That'll do it."

Dana spoke to her career development officer at work about our choice. "Turkmenistan?" he asked. "Are you sure?" "My husband is crazy," she said.

Fast forward a year, and I gaze out a window of our ninth-floor apartment at the blindingly white, futuristic dystopia that is Ashgabat, Turkmenistan. Every building is white, every car is white, and the only signage of any kind extolls the virtues of the current regime.

"Nailed it," I remark with satisfaction.

I see across the street in Independence Park an enormous replica of Ruhnama, or Book of the Soul, a two-volume tome written by Turkmenistan’s first post-Soviet dictator, Saparmurat Niyazov, and said to guarantee the reader heavenly salvation. In the early 2000s, it was required reading for government officials and schoolchildren, and imams had to include its teachings in the mosques. To the south, in the foothills of the Kopet Dag and beyond which lies Iran, I see the Alem Cultural and Entertainment Center, home to the world's largest indoor Ferris wheel.

Speaking of world records, Turkmenistan loves them. Not only does the country have its giant Ferris wheel, but it also holds the Guinness World Record for the largest gardening lesson, the highest density of white marble-clad buildings, the longest single line bicycle parade, and—my favorite—the largest number of people singing in a round.

Yep. There’s going to be plenty to write about. Sadly, Turkmenistan stands out in other

ways. For example, the internet is tightly controlled, and the country is all but closed to the outside world. Its government is one of the world’s most repressive, and, according to the US State Department, maintains a “policy or pattern of forced labor.” Turkmenistan’s authoritarian regime does not tolerate criticism, and Amesty International calls its human rights record “abysmal.” Stay tuned. - g